Friday, February 6, 2009

The Plant Lady

The building I work in has a lot of plants. So, they get a person to come in to water and maintain them. Since I have a black thumb, I think this is wonderful, except for one thing: The plant lady is an incessant talker.

Now I do not mind chatting with someone, but I do mind being chatted to, and she talks "at" people about really boring shit.

For example, she will say "how are you?" A person would say back "fine.....and you?"

And that is the problem. When you say "and you." She launches in to whatever shit she has on her mind, and there is no way to escape, unless the phone rings or you spontaneously vomit into your trashcan.

I am not alone in my opinion of the plant lady. Co-workers will excuse themselves to the bathroom, or pretend to be on the phone. If they are lucky enough to work in an office with the door, some will just lock their doors.

Yesterday I hid in the bathroom. It was wonderful. When I knew she had left, I told my office manager, who then unlocked her door.

I mean really, how do you combat this? I don't want to be mean and say "Hey plant lady, your shit is boring, can you give my plant a drink and move on?"


Jan said...

Keep a set of headphones nearby and, when you see her approaching (cue the nowhere-to-run music), put them on and pretend to be in an important conference call or web meeting. This will let you smile politely to her to acknowledge her without inviting more. If you're caught without headphones, there's always the old fake cell phone conversation. Tacky, yes, but sometimes necessary in situations like that.

Or, for a two-fer, arrange with a co-worker that whichever one of you sees her first will make a real phone call to the other with code words and other subterfuge, in which you'll pretend to discuss deeply serious matters of great urgency that keep you both busy.

Not That Cool said...

Oooooh I like the two-pronged attack. I will have to do that.

Sometimes pretending I'm on a phone call works, but not always.

Thanks for the comment!

Jamie said...

LOL! Maybe everyone in the office should get t-shirts printed up that say "You do a great job with the plants, but not so with the talk" and all wear them when she comes in next.