I work in a building in downtown Nashville that was built in 1896. It is mad cool. There are a lot of old details that have been preserved, and we even have a secret passageway. In this day of homogenized and pasteurized buildings that touch the sky, I feel extremely lucky to work in such a fascinating place.
Except for one thing.....the creepy crawlies known as spiders.
Y'all here in my building there are two particular kinds of spiders. The first is the brown recluse, who really don't want to bother anyone, until they are, in their spidey brains, provoked, and then they bite you, and it is poison. Seriously it is some bad shit.
Then there is the other that I see every now and then, the wolf spider. They are ugly as sin, and kinda big as far as robust spiders go, so yeah it's not fun when you see one.
Did I mention that today I saw one? I was sitting at my desk, extremely busy, I reach for my attorney's directory, place it on my desk, and then the spider is flung out from the ring-binder book.
HELLO TINA! IT IS ME, MR. WOLFY SPIDER, STARING AT YOU WITH MY BEADY EYES! HELLO!
So I don't know how quick this booger might escape into areas unknown, or perhaps try to climb on to my shoulder and then into my ear to chew on my innards, so time is of the essence. I grab a receipt from the Secretary of State for some Articles of Organization that I filed perhaps an hour ago.
WHAM!!!! Buh bye ugly spider. Thankfully the, um, juicier aspects of the departed remained on my quasi formica desk. The document used for smashing was relatively unscathed, and is currently in the mail to the Register of Deeds.
The End, until the next encounter, with perhaps a vengeful cousin.